Relationship Advice for Van Life

Joe and Kait have a rule: Once something really starts to bother them, they have to talk about it. They have to put it out in the open. It might not get resolved right away, but at least the other person is aware of what’s going on.

Joe has no problem speaking up when something bothers him. He noticed, though, that Kait tends to go silent when she’s upset.

“I found that I didn’t always recognize what was bothering me,” Kait said. “A lot of times it had nothing to do with Joe, it just had to do with me.”

She began saying to Joe: “I recognize that something is bothering me, but I just need a little time to process it, and then let’s talk about it.”

“Giving myself time to think things through and process it allowed us to have a better conversation later about what was actually bothering me.”

The Russos have found that even though you’re on the road and sharing a small space together, you don’t always have to be together.

That’s why Kait bought Joe a motorcycle.

“The motorcycle is a good way for us to go and do our own thing,” Joe said. “We’ll be driving, and I’ll see some awesome roads. So she’ll pull over, I’ll take the bike off, and I’ll ride. Then we can both drive ourselves and listen to our own music. It’s a good way for us to recharge.”

When they’re inside the van together, Joe and Kait like to play Monopoly Deal. It’s a card game, so it doesn’t take up much space. They also work on their business together, called We’re the Russos, where they blog about their adventures and offer consultation to those who are interested in similar lifestyles.

The Russos asked the audience, “What hobbies do you and your partner have on the road?”

Here were some of their responses:

“He goes on hikes with the dogs. I’m not a hiker. I don’t understand hiking. So I grab my Kindle and read almost a book every day sitting inside the van or outside of the van with my feet up enjoying wherever we are. And he goes on these long 2-3 hour adventures. It’s just enough time apart, and then we can come back together and do what we really like together, like cooking.”

“She does a day pass at a gym and works out for an hour or two while I watch the dogs. I’m a mountain biker, so when she comes back I’ll find a trail and she watches the dogs. Then on rainy days, we do Mexican train dominoes, backgammon or just basic board games. We like breweries, so we hit those too.”

“One hobby that we have that we started when we first bought our van is reading to each other. There’s this series of books called “Dear Bob and Sue,” and it’s a series of stories that this couple writes back to their friends Bob and Sue. We each read a chapter to each other, and sometimes we read around the campfire.”